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My friend was using Grindr all the time, other people were using apps like Tinder, and I thought, “This is ridiculous.

Why does everyone else have these really cool things to use and there’s nothing for me and for my friends?

Systems of oppression based on race sometimes pressure queer men of color to lie about or hide their racial/ethnic identity in online dating spaces like Grindr in order to get positive romantic and sexual attention.Another person I know is Black but has self-identified as mixed-race on Grindr because he gets little attention when he identifies himself as Black.And the attention he does receive for identifying as Black isn’t favorable – it’s frequently unsolicited and racialized.White gay men also respond less frequently to messages in general than gay men of color.On Ok Cupid white gay men respond to messages from all races at an average rate of 41.4%, but gay men of color respond to messages from all races at an average rate of 49.3%.

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